Log in

No account? Create an account
03 January 2009 @ 02:03 pm
Well...happy new year. It's going to be an interesting year, full of nervousness and running, vast changes, movings on, and of course, a brand, shiny new Doctor.

I'm trying my hardest not to cry.

Really, it's just a TV show. He's only an actor, just a guy on a TV show I happen to adore watching, and previously, had adored watching no matter what actor happened to be in the lead. Tom Baker was my first, and therefore will always be tied for my favorite, Peter Davidson was brilliant, as was, in my opinion, Sylvester McCoy. Paul McGann was pretty much the best part of the 96 TV movie, and as I grew up I began to explore the fantastic preformances of the late, great William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, and Jon Pertwee, and even came to warm up to Colin Baker. When the series revived in 2005, I was utterly captivated by Christopher Eccelston's preformance, enough to scour the internet for several weeks in search of a copy of "Rose" I could watch 17 times in one day. My love for Doctor Who became an obessesion, one that transended any individual Doctor, companion, or somewhat dodgy, most likely subjective peice of disputed canon.

But there was something about David.

I'm not sure what it was, exactly. I was devistated when I found out Christopher Eccelston was leaving, and was only comforted when I saw a publicity still of David Tennant in Christopher's costume during The Christmas Invasion. For some reason, that little peice of transistion helped, and I began to wonder more about what was to come and worry less about what had been. I missed The Christmas Invasion, and thus my first exposure to his Doctor was the first episode of series two; New Earth.

Again, I'm really not sure what it is about the episode that caught me. I spent the first few minutes of it trying to picture Christopher Eccelston delivering his lines and checking to make sure it made sense, just to make sure they were still the same character. But by the time he said "I'm the Doctor" for the first time, I'd abandoned that, and immediately beleived him.

From that one episode, I became facinated by him. I started simple, looking him up on Wikipedia, visiting his website, checking to see what else he'd been in, and re-watching the fourth Harry Potter movie. I was never really the type to get hooked on celebrities, or obsessed with specific actors, for the most part, I didn't really care. I liked a preformance and appreciated it then, but after that, I didn't really need to know. But with David, I'm not sure what happened. After a while I started reading articles of his website, interviews, radioshows, talkshows, anything that him on it. He was witty, and smart, and in the begining at least, nervous about his current good fortune. His obsession with Doctor Who riveled my own, as did his passion for theater and acting, and after a while I just...I don't know. I liked him.

Everyone has a celebrity crush. Everyone. Don't try to deny it, even if it's never become a full-fledged attraction, you've noticed an actor, or a singer, or some person in the public eye, and done a bit of a double take. I never thought I would be one to fall for someone I've never met, but I think, for a little while at least, I did. Leave it to me to develop a celebrity crush on a celebrity practically no one over here has ever heard of. 

It was his acting that attracted me first, his portrayal, which much like the rest of this entire story, I have no idea why I warmed to so much. There was something about his delivery, something about the energy he brought to it, the quirkiness he added to the part. He wore the same shoes as me. The limitless expression of his face, the way he could shift his emotion in mid-sentence with nothing but his eyes. He was just...brilliant. There was no denying it, for me at least, he was a fantastic actor. It was around this time I started developing insomnia, probably not helped by the fact that I would stay up far, far too late at night scouring YouTube for just about anything he'd ever been in. But 2007, I'd seen just about everything he'd done caught on film, as well as heard every audio he'd ever appeared in, and read every interview he'd ever gave.

David Tennant has been my escape for a while now. If I had a crappy day I could come home and watch some show he'd been on, some interview he'd given, or even just an episode of Doctor Who. For someone I've never actually met, he's been a rather big part of my life for the past four years. I knew from the begining the moment would come that he would decide to leave the show and I always thought, if he'd just last till I graduated high school, I'd go to college, lose interest, and it would be alright. I let myself become attatched because I was sure that would happen. And now, lasting past my high school graduation, his leaving is devistating.

Why can't I seem to let go? Why can't the distractions of my life tear me away from an actor and a TV show both stationed on a completely different continent? Why am I still stuck on him? Is it fandom? I only really discovered online fandom, forums, livejournal, everything I do in my freetime, because of my renewed obsession, is that the reason? Why can't I be excited for the next man, and why can't I put the fun of scouring the web for signs of David behind me?
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
14 October 2008 @ 05:47 am
You know, today would be the perfect day to get picked up by the Doctor.

I mean, seriously. I have SO much stuff I should be doing right now. I should be reading the two contrasting versions of "The Yellow Dog" for class today, I should be revising two different papers, frantically trying to master new verbs and vocabulary, defining 75 terms for Comparative Religions, writing my essay, filling out applications, writing prompts, responding to tags, really the list goes on and on and on of stuff I should be doing, or should have been doing, but haven't been and are not. I've hit rock bottom, I've gotten to the point where I just can't seem to finish anything, let alone do anything important. Nothing's getting done, I'm behind on everything I do, and you know what, I still have rehearsal till five tonight.

So really, if the Doctor ever did decide to come to New England, and happened to land in my tiny, insignificant town (probably over in that little alleyway we have over by the river) which was, of course, being overrun with Sontarans or Daleks or something, and I just happened to be around avoiding work to help him, and he just happened to ask me to come with him, today, I would so say yes. In a heartbeat.

It would be a bit like Martha, actually. I wouldn't exactly want an escape exactly, not really. All I want is a break. Just a season's worth of adventures so that I can then go back to this mess I'm in stronger, more mature, and a bit more clever than I am now. I wouldn't want to run away from it all, because unless you're the Doctor, that never works, I'd just want a break. Just a bit of time to sort my life out a bit, so that I could come back and fix it properly.

So if you're the Doctor (and I mean really the Doctor, not an RP Doctor or anything) and by some bizarre miracle of the BBC you do happen to be real, please consider the addition of an angsty-needs-to-figure-her-life-out-and-just-freaking-finish-something girl to the TARDIS? I'd be really good! I wouldn't touch anything, I like to run, I always wear sneakers, oh! And I'm blond! Really, I'm perfect!

Dear God or whoever happens to be listening, please just let me do a few things right today. Please.

Current Mood: frustratedbeyond frustrated
23 September 2008 @ 11:38 pm
So, you know the drill. Comment with your answers, and then post these questions in your own journal so other people can answer them It's fairly straightforward, really.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What did you most want to be or do when you were a kid?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable, and best way to prepare it?
06) What was the last book you read, and did you like it?
07) Any siblings, and if so, what's your birth order (oldest, youngest, middle, etc)?
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
09) Any more you'd like to get?
10) Favorite band or musician?
11) What is your favorite sport? (Or board game, if you're not a sports fan)
12) Liberal or conservative?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) One weird or wonderful fact about you?
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What would you do if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Where in the world are you located?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Are you more likely to end up my partner in crime, or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have? Hair?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle, can, or draft beer? What kind? (Or soda, if you're not of age or don't drink)
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out?
28) One place in the world you've always wanted to visit?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Dream job?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Religious identity, if any?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

And since, apparently, my answers were too long to fit in a comment, here are my answers:

Answering Powers Return!!Collapse )
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
10 September 2008 @ 09:19 pm
So, despite the fact that I have no lines and am basically playing a completely mimed, silent role (What was it I was saying I was the worst at? Oh yes! Miming!) I got bored after rehearsal and figured I'd fill one out for this one anyway because, technically, I'm supposed to do one for any character I play no matter how big or small the role is.

So, here's the enchantress from Beauty and the Beast. Enjoy.

Full Name: The Enchantress
Birthday: A very long time ago.
Birthplace: Far away.
Current Location: France
Heritage: Um, magic?
Eye Color/Hair Color: Green/Blond
Right or Left Handed: Right
Major Strength: Her unlimited, infinite magical powers.
Major Weakness: Asparagus.
Fears: None.
Life Goal: To bother annoying princes.
Dream Profession: Goddess.
Actual Profession: Enchantress (still a pretty sweet deal, if you ask me)
Favorite Meal: Amish friendship bread.
Coffee Drinker: Probably not.
Favorite Alcoholic Drink: White wine.
Has Character Been in Love: No
Is Character Attractive: Oh yes.
Does Character Think of Self as Attractive: Oh yes.
Healthy Habits: Teaching rude, annoying princes a lesson.
Unhealthy Habits: Turning rude, annoying princes into beasts.
Favorite Movie: The Tenth Kingdom
Vices: Magical Roses.
Tattoo(s)/ Piercing(s): None.
Number One Regret: None
Current Mood: boredbored
13 August 2008 @ 02:35 pm
So, I recently discovered this Dream Avatar thing, I think it's for Gaia, and after I made a little mini-Ten, I decided it would be fun to make a few more. Two hours later, I have two for me, and one for a bunch of characters I've played on stage.

I'm...er, putting them behind a cut since there's sort of a lot of them.

07 August 2008 @ 01:08 am
Hooray for memes! I er, know I just did an entry (and seriously, it was stirring and thought-provoking, and well...you know the drill) I figured I'd do this because I'm a bored insomniac who is stuck watching her younger sister tomorrow and has nothing to do. So! Here it is, your basic friending meme, I think:

Name: Nelly
Age: Tell you later.
Location: God knows.

Fandoms: Er...Doctor Who, Blackpool, Angels in America, Firefly, Pushing Daisies, Sailor Moon, X-Files, Shakespeare (if that counts)
Ships: Doctor/TARDIS
Anti-Ships: What? Um...Doctor/Master?
Music: The Beatles, Keane, Kaiser Chiefs, The Wombats, Amy Winehouse, Coldplay, Elvis Costello, Mika, Queen, and much, much more.

Journal Status (FO,public etc): Public, I don't really post anything worth hiding.
Friending Policy: I'll friend you unless you're creepy. In which case, I won't.
Anything Else?: Um...not particuarly. Should there be?

Is seriously going to bed now.
Current Mood: boredbored
07 August 2008 @ 12:47 am
I would just  like to pose my complete and utter hatred of any and all forms of screws, nails, nuts, bolts, washers, and anchors.

And sockets. But that's totally different.

That is all.

Ok, I lied. I hate pesto too. And insomnia. And Eric Roberts.

But mostly pesto.

Maybe if I look at the pesto long enough, and repeat the name of  it over and and over again, I'll disorient myself, and I won't see it as pesto anymore, since the word itself will start to sound strange and alien to me, maybe  then I'll finally learn to like the key ingredient that so many before me have loved and enjoyed through a simple shifting of my own personal philosophy.

Or maybe I just really hate pesto.

The world may never know.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
20 June 2008 @ 01:44 pm
So, I took a final exam yesterday, and one of the questions was

The Periodic Table of Elements is organized into:
a.) Lines
b.) Periods
c.) Colums
d.) Liney, whimy things.

Honest to God, that was letter D. It made me laugh, for a few seconds, and then went on to the next question. Made exams a lot more interesting, if anything =D
17 June 2008 @ 10:40 pm
Like seriously. I had one a few years ago...um, I can't remember what the play was, but I know it involved some sort of green costume and I was, from what I can remember, in it. But anyway, I had one during this play, like in between shows or something, and it was really, ridiculously good, and I remember really looking forward to trying another and they promptly discontinued it.

Because that's what Pizza Hut does.

Um...I'd also like to say that Midnight was really awesome beyond all reason and I want David Tennant's acting abilities. The amount he managed to say, with no words, just with his eyes. No movement, not even much eyebrow action, just one unmoving stare, that managed to change purely through the emotion behind it.

Words can't quite describe how brilliant this was. If left to my own devices, I will end up ranting about this for hours on end. Trust me. As I sort of have a final paper to write, though, and a million threads and prompts to catch up on, I really should end this here.

So yeah, P'zone and Midnight brilliance. Woot.
11 June 2008 @ 08:42 pm

You've got to be kidding me.

Apparently, the BBC have just issued a "statement" or something (actually, it was a FAQ page) wherein they tackle the question "Is the Doctor Half-human?" and their response is "Yes, on his mum's side. It was established in the TV movie; though purists tend to disregard this."

First of all, though I am completely and utterly obsessed with Doctor Who in every possible way, I wouldn't exactly consider myself a purist. I'm open to pretty much any change in canon, anything the production team wants to throw at us, I'm typically good with.

But this...this is my one exception. I've always had issues with the whole "half-human" thing, in anything, not just Doctor Who. It dates back to when I was little and watching "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" all the time. In that, Sabrina, who I always thought was the coolest character, was half witch/half mortal, and it used to constantly infuriate me that she wasn't completely a witch. I don't know why. I'd sit there and get completely enchanted with some cool magical thing, she'd do something really cool and wierd and bizarre, and then just when I was completely in awe, they'd pull it down again and be all "Oh, but she's still half-mortal, what a shame." For some reason, it wasn't nearly as cool.

From that point on I became increasingly frustrated with the amount of  characters that ended up being half-human. The whole "I'm half this, but half that, where do I belong" or the even worse "I can't do that, the half of me that's human makes me too weak" conflict bothered me more and more the more times I encountered it, culminating at the point I just happened to stumble upon the Doctor Who TV movie.

Now the Doctor had always facinated me. Totally alien, in every sense of the world, he was mysterious and bumbling and bizarre.  He was one of the few characters that  were still completely otherworldly, which I thought was brilliant.

And then I saw the TV movie.

I thought it was awesome, I'll just say that to start. I liked Paul McGann's Doctor, I loved his Doctor. I loved a lot about that movie. Amnesia? Sweet. Kissing Grace Holloway? Sweet. None of that bothered me, till they went all "The Doctor is half-human!" and I was about ready to crawl into a hole and die (ok, not really, even I didn't take it that seriously) It was like every fandom-related issue of my childhood all over again! I couldn't do it. I couldn't let my one alien character, my favorite character, go down the route of so many others.

So I did the one thing I swore to myself I would never do. I ignored it. Yes, it was technically canon, but since no one had confirmed it, I could get away with it. I don't usually ignore canon, I don't usually just gloss over things, and I'm usually very, very open-minded. But this...this was a deep seeded issue of mine, that no matter how many times I tried to ignore wouldn't seem to go away. I lived terrified that the new series would mention it, or have a line about it or something.

And now here I am. Sounding stupid, ignorant, stubborn, and totally unlike myself. Stuck in the past and refusing to look into the future. A half-human Doctor. I have tried to accept it, I've tried to make peace with the idea, but for some reason, I can't seem to let myself.

The Doctor is half-human, the Doctor is half-human, the Doctor is half-human.

*shudders uncontrollably*

I've got a lot of work to do on this. I'm very, very sorry.
Current Mood: depresseddepressed